Life is Better With Animals

Chapter Twenty-three

Days turned into weeks as Elizabeth tried to go on with her life without
William. It was easy and difficult at the same time. Easy, because she had known
him for such a short time that he hadn't managed to disrupt her routine, change
her habits or affect her plans and goals much. She still went to work, visited
the farms, took care of her pets, met with her friends and family. The
unexpected, but very welcome grant from the De Bourgh's consumed much of her
free time and left her with little leisure to dwell on her disappointment. There
were administrative issues to handle; with the bank, the foundation itself, with
lawyers and accountants. When that was taken care of, there came the time to
start implementing her business plan.

Elizabeth threw herself into adapting the clinic for a hospital, buying
equipment and hiring new staff. One hectic week followed another, and before
Elizabeth knew it, it was already December. The legal matters had been resolved,
the clinic was ready, the equipment bought and waiting to be used. Her new
employees; two nurses and a surgeon would be starting work after New Year's. It
was by no means the end of work though; Elizabeth was sure the first weeks would
be difficult for everyone, before they developed the right work routine, learnt
to work together and got used to their new tasks and duties.

By all appearances, Elizabeth didn't think about William at all. She seemed the
same lively, cheerful woman everyone in the town knew. However, this was just a
pretence. Yes, she had little time to think about him, but no matter how hard
she tried, she couldn't forget about him. Wherever she was, whatever she was
doing, he was always at the back of her mind. He was like an aching tooth she
couldn't stop touching with her tongue again and again, even though she knew
very well it would hurt.

While she couldn't stop thinking about him, at least she didn't talk about him.
At first Jane had tried to coax her into confidence, but Elizabeth was
determined. She didn't want to talk about William, she didn't even want to hear
about him. Thinking was hard enough, she was sure that were she to actually
discuss him with anyone, she'd just fall apart again. It was one thing to cry
into your pillow when no one was looking, but quite another to make a spectacle
of yourself in front of everyone. Ashamed of having trusted William and allowing
him to take advantage of her, she needed to keep at least some of her dignity,
therefore she strove to conceal her pain.

In addition, she had others to consider who could suffer in this case, not just
herself. Charles couldn't have known anything about William's engagement to
Anne, otherwise he wouldn't have been encouraging their relationship.  As
protective as her future brother was, he'd be furious at his friend if he found
out the truth. Much as she was angry and hurt by William, she had no wish to be
the means of destroying the men's friendship.

So, all her friends knew was that she and William had quarreled and decided to
break up. If William wished to reveal what really had happened, she could not
stop him, but her own lips were sealed.

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As usual during the last six weeks, Elizabeth left the clinic very late. She
locked the door and, bundling up in her warm coat against the chilly December
air, she walked to her car. She was exhausted, but satisfied with the progress
of the work. It seemed that everything was set for the grand opening of the
hospital. There wasn't much left to do now except for some minor things. Excuses
to stay at work late were running short, and more and more often Elizabeth found
herself with way too much free time on her hands. When she was busy, she was
able to keep thoughts of William at bay, but leisure time was her enemy. Yet, it
appeared that she'd not have much to do until New Year.

Getting into the car and starting the engine, she thought of her options. She
could stay in Meryton and run the risk of losing her hard-won peace by
subjecting herself to brooding over what had been and what could never be, or
she could do everything in her power to forget William once and for all. A
change of scene and society could do wonders to one's broken heart. Elizabeth
decided she deserved a holiday before taking on the new challenges. She had
promised Charlotte to visit her in her new flat in London, but so far she had
had no time to get away from Meryton and the mountain of work that needed to be
done. Now, with the relative calm before another storm, was the perfect time for
the visit. Especially because De Bourgh's was giving a Christmas Charity Ball
and Elizabeth, as the recipient of the foundation's grant, was invited to
attend. Yes, she would call Charlotte tonight and ask her whether she could come
on Friday and stay for the weekend.

This decision brought a new sense of relief and peace to Elizabeth. Pulling up
her driveway and getting out of the car, she started walking slowly to the door.
She inhaled the fresh air deeply and closed her eyes, savouring the quiet and
stillness of the winter evening. Feeling something cold touch her face, she
opened her eyes. It was snowing. The first snow always held something magical to
Elizabeth. It brought memories of waking up in the morning to a world
transformed into a fairytale land, of carefree fun in the snow and of evenings
spent in front of a roaring fireplace with a mug of hot chocolate and a good
book. Good, happy times.

And suddenly, the strangest thing happened. Looking around herself, she gazed
with wonder at the white flurry swiftly covering the bleak, barren land with a
carpet of fresh, pristine snow, Elizabeth felt hope rising in her heart again.
Reeling with the unexpected sensation, she laughed the first genuine, unreserved
laughter since William's departure. Unaccountably, she felt as if a great weight
had been taken off her shoulders. All would be well yet.

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"Liz!" Elizabeth heard the exclamation and felt herself being pulled inside the
flat and hugged enthusiastically.

"Good to see you, Char."

She moved away and eyed Charlotte curiously. "Let me look at you. You look
great! The London air must have improved from what I heard last."

Charlotte laughed. "And you haven't changed a bit. Still as sprightly as
always."

Grabbing Elizabeth's hand, Charlotte pulled her into the living room. Looking
around, Elizabeth took in the interior. It was a small and modestly furnished
flat, but it was evident that even during the short couple of weeks of her
residence Charlotte had managed to make it a home.

"It's very nice."

Charlotte shrugged. "It's not big, but at least it's my own; I don't have to
share it with anyone."

"Except for me," Elizabeth remarked slyly.

Charlotte smiled graciously. "Well, I guess I can handle you for a few days."

"You are too kind." The friends looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Charlotte was the first to control her amusement. "Enough of that. You have to
tell me everything I've missed back at Meryton."

Settling down with cups of tea on the living room couch, Elizabeth and Charlotte
busied themselves with catching up on all of the news. Elizabeth told her friend
everything about the grant and the preparations for the opening of the hospital,
Charlotte in turn described her new life and work. Though they had been talking
on the phone regularly, there were just some things they couldn't say over the
phone.

"I'm really happy, Liz. I have a job I like, a job that is interesting and
challenging, I meet new people; for the first time in years I feel truly
satisfied."

Elizabeth smiled warmly. "I'm very happy for you, Char. I'm glad they're
treating you well in De Bourgh's. I've heard the big boss is a real gorgon."

"She is very severe and demanding, she holds the whole company with an iron
hand. But she's not unfair."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "An iron lady, then. You've made me really
curious. I'm  looking forward to seeing her tomorrow."

"Speaking of which, what are you going to wear? I hope you do have something
proper to put on, there's no Jane to come to your rescue with a suitcase full of
evening wear like the last time."

Though it was said lightly, Elizabeth felt a stab of pain at the reminder of the
evening of her first date with William. She grew quiet and stared at her coffee
cup.

Taking in her friend's forlorn expression, Charlotte paled slightly. "Oh God,
Liz, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot; I have such a big mouth sometimes."

Elizabeth shook her head. "No, it's ok. I admit that talking about William is
still painful for me, but I can't avoid the topic forever."

Charlotte's sympathetic expression threatened to rob her of the last shreds of
dignity. In order to avoid disgracing herself even more, she turned her head
away.

"Oh hon, I'm so sorry. If there is something I could do, don't hesitate to let
me know."

Elizabeth looked sharply at Charlotte, surprised that was all her friend had
said. For the big-mouthed Charlotte to keep her opinion to herself was quite
startling. <I>I must seem worse than I thought</I> Elizabeth sighed inwardly.

"But no more bleak thoughts for tonight. You really have to show me what you're
going to wear. I don't want my friend disgraced in from of all the VIPs."
Charlotte jumped from the couch and extended her hand to Elizabeth.

A slow smile grew on Elizabeth's face, as she got up from the couch and followed
Charlotte to the bedroom for an impromptu fashion show.

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The great hall was filled with people. Elizabeth smiled at Charlotte excitedly,
and stepped nearer the throng, looking around in wonder. From marble floors,
walls adorned with exquisite works of art and beautifully rimmed mirrors, to
crystal chandeliers above their heads - everything seemed to be sparkling,
glittering like diamonds and gold. The light reflected from crystal glasses,
silver platters and the luxurious jewellery worn by the ladies and even a few of
the gentlemen, added a touch of unreality to the whole scene. For several
seconds Elizabeth felt as if by some mistake she had stepped into a fairy realm.
She half expected that if she looked closely enough, she'd glimpse a pair of
delicate wings on the back of one of the beautiful women in the room.

Instead of be-winged beauties, however, she spotted a short, bald man. Next to
him stood an elegantly dressed old lady, with grey hair and a very wrinkled
face. To her right she glimpsed a very overweight man, standing with a plate and
stuffing his face with caviar. She laughed quietly to herself. No, the people
around her were no fairies; they were ordinary humans, albeit very rich and
important, by the look of it.

The hum of polite conversation was drowned in the soft notes of classical jazz
streaming from an adjourning room. The great doors to the other room were open, 
and Elizabeth could glimpse several dancing couples and the band. 

Charlotte finished her perusal of the room and turned to Elizabeth. "Let's go
and get something to drink before we start to mingle. There are a couple of
people I'd like to introduce to you."

A couple of minutes later, each with a glass of wine in their hands, Elizabeth
and Charlotte were taking a turn about the room. Occasionally, they stopped to
exchange a few words with someone before they continued on their way. Elizabeth
was introduced to several of Charlotte's new colleagues were all very nice, if a
touch boring. After some time she was tired of the polite, inane conversation
and dull people. Yawning, she wished she was back in Meryton in her favourite
pub with a drink and in the company of her friends.

Just as she was going to say so much to Charlotte, she heard her name being
called.

"Elizabeth?"

She spun around and saw a man approaching her. "Henry Tilney! What are you doing
here?"

"My clinic received a grant from De Bourgh's. I was invited to come and show my
gratitude. And what about you?"

"Same as you."

Henry laughed at the coincidence. "And who is your friend?"

Elizabeth put her hands to her face in mock horror. "Where are my manners!
Charlotte Lucas, Henry Tilney. Charlotte works for De Bourgh's and is my best
friend. Henry went to college with me."

"Thank God I met you, ladies. I was dying of boredom, you've got to save me."

Elizabeth laughed merrily. "What can we do?"

Henry glanced at the dance floor. "You can dance with me for a start."

Dancing with such a good partner as Henry was no burden to Elizabeth, so she
agreed readily. The next hour the threesome spent on the dance floor, where
Charlotte met several of her acquaintances who were also eager to have some
diversion.

Finally, tired, but in great spirits, Elizabeth left the dance floor and headed
for the ladies' room. Still grinning from her last dance, she stepped to the
main room and promptly collided with someone walking in opposite direction.  Her
smile froze on her face, as she was struck with a potent feeling of d??vu.
Before she even raised her head she knew who he was, and if she didn't, the deep
voice speaking her name would give him away.

"Elizabeth..." His voice was soft with surprise.

Slowly, she raised her head and looked into his face. Her breathing hitched and
her heart drummed wildly under his intense gaze. He didn't look well. Could
their break-up have affected him so? No, that was impossible, if he cared about
her, he would have tried contacting her again wouldn't he?

"Hello, William," she answered softly, happy to notice her voice trembled only
slightly.

"It's nice to see you again." His dark eyes bore into hers ...searching ...
questioning. But what?

"It's nice to see you, too."

They stood motionless for several seconds, neither knowing what to say. The
spell was broken by a woman calling William's name.

"Excuse me," he said and walked off. Elizabeth saw him join a woman dressed in a
simple, but elegant black dress. She couldn't take her eyes away from the pair,
once again gripped by jealousy and sorrow. Feeling a hand on her arm, she forced
herself to look away. Charlotte was standing next to her, her eyes
compassionate.

"Who is she?"

"That's Anne De Bourgh."

Shocked, Elizabeth turned around and faced Charlotte. "Anne De Bourgh?"

"Yes. She's Catherine De Bourgh's daughter and William's cousin."

Dazed, Elizabeth moved her eyes from Charlotte to William and back. "Wait a
second. William is related to Catherine De Bourgh?"

"Yes, he's her nephew. Didn't you know that?"

Elizabeth just shook her head, confused beyond words. Her mind worked
frantically to make some sense out of all the revelations. William related to
Catherine De Bourgh?  Oh God, what if...

Feeling hot and cold at the same time, Elizabeth came to the only logical
conclusion. She put her hand on her throat, feeling the frantic beating of the
pulse there.

"Oh God, Char... It all makes sense now!"

A sound of applause interrupted their conversation, and they turned in the
direction where everybody was looking. A tall, elderly woman ascended the steps
to a small rostrum, nodding her head and smiling condescendingly at the crowd. A
young girl and a handsome blond man stood to her left, and William and Anne to
her right.  Elizabeth noticed William take Anne's hand in his as the people's
attention included them. At length, the ovation quieted and the woman spoke.

"My dear friends, welcome to the annual De Bourgh Christmas Ball."

Elizabeth turned away from the rostrum and whispered urgently, "I can't stay
here any longer. I've got to get out."

Charlotte nodded. "Of course, if you wish. Let me say goodbye to a few people
first."

Elizabeth rubbed her forehead distractedly. "No, no, you stay. I don't want to
ruin your evening. I'll take a taxi, just give me the keys to your flat and I'll
be fine."

Charlotte glanced at her with concern. "You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

After a quick goodbye, Elizabeth walked hastily to the entrance, unaware her
retreat was followed by the searching gaze of a pair of dark eyes.

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Elizabeth sat curled in an armchair, her chin on her knees, staring unseeingly
at the wall opposite her. Events of the evening replayed in her head again and
again. It was completely shocking, yet so logical at the same time. She had seen
William again, together with his fianc⁠too. Seeing his tenderness and caring
bestowed on another woman was unspeakably painful. She couldn't erase the memory
of them together from her mind's eye; she couldn't remove the picture of William
lovingly taking Anne's hand in his. Tears stung her eyes as she understood that
she had been fooling herself, believing she would forget about him so easily. He
still held as much power over her as he ever had, his betrayal hurt her as much
today as on that awful day when she had called him only to find Anne at his
flat.

Angrily brushing away the tears that had slipped from her eyes, she contemplated
the greatest revelation of the evening. William was Catherine De Bourgh's
nephew.  And, Elizabeth was almost sure of it, William had been standing behind
her grant.

It was quite obvious in view of her present knowledge. William had been there
when the whole Collins incident happened. She had told him everything about the
grant and her certainty of them having lost it because she hadn't given in to
Collins' blackmail. He had comforted and reassured her that everything would be
all right. At the time she hadn't believed him, but now she saw there had been
nothing easier for him than to make it all right; all he had had to do was make
one phone call.

Perplexed, Elizabeth wasn't sure whether to be grateful or furious with him. She
was very disappointed she hadn't gotten the grant thanks to her own merits and
when she thought about it, her ire at William grew. How arrogant and
presumptuous of him! Before she was too consumed by her fury, she remembered how
much she had wanted this grant, how all of her plans and dreams had depended on
whether she got it or not. Having enjoyed the very great pleasure of seeing her
dreams come true in the last months, she had to admit, however grudgingly, that
she did owe William a debt of gratitude as well. Which again increased her
anger, as she hated being indebted to anyone, and for William to be that person
was quite insupportable.    

However, one thing remained unexplained. Why had he done this? What could he
have gained from helping her? If he had wanted to gain her gratitude, he
wouldn't have kept quiet about it. She knew he hadn't been interested in her
besides as a temporary diversion, so he had had no reason to help her. Yet, it
was he who had done it, she was certain. But why? Racking her head for a few
minutes proved useless - she couldn't think of any plausible answer to her
questions.  Ah well, it didn't matter.

As soon as that thought crossed her mind, she knew it was a lie. It bloody well
mattered. Could it be possible he had done it because he had genuinely cared for
her? Suddenly this question burned her mind, she couldn't stop thinking about
it, she <I>had to</I> find out the answer. Forget Anne, Wickham's accusations
and her own wounded feelings. She needed to know the truth and she <I>would</I>
know it!

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The ball couldn't have finished too quickly for William. He had never been fond
of these events and had been rather impatient for the evening to end all along,
but seeing her depart in such haste had been too much for him to bear. So it was
with the greatest relief that he finally got into his car and drove home.

Meeting her again so unexpectedly had wreaked havoc on his already feral
emotions. To see her again, so beautiful and radiant, dressed in a deep purple
cheongsam, her hair up in a stylish twist with several charmingly unruly curls
escaping the confinement of her hairstyle, and to know she wanted nothing to do
with him, was too much.

He had spent the past two months in frustrating, but completely fruitless,
attempts to forget her. Following the shock of her breaking up with him, he had
tried to find the reason for her sudden withdrawal. Had he done something to
offend her? Had she been bored with him? Or maybe she had never cared about him,
had given in to him only because she had felt pity for him, and then she had
taken the first opportunity to get rid of him? Try as he might, he couldn't
recollect anything that could have offended her. So the only remaining options
were that she had broken up with him because for some reason she hadn't wanted
him anymore.

It had been a painful realisation, but together with hurt had come anger. How
dare she! He had given her his undivided attention while he had been in Meryton.
He had fallen in love with her so hard he could barely keep his mind off of her;
he had been so besotted he had started thinking of their living together after
barely a week of a relationship! He had gone completely crazy over her, but she
had disregarded it callously, giving him the cold shoulder almost the moment he
had left town. She hadn't even felt any need to spare his feelings - breaking up
with him over the phone. There had been no sorries, no explanations, just a
cold, cruel "I don't want anything to do with you anymore."

William forced himself to concentrate on driving as the pain of her rejection
hit him again, like an almost physical blow. The first day had been spent
indoors, trying to drown his anger and despair in scotch. It had been Hurst that
had kept him sane. He had known he couldn't just drink himself into a stupor as
he had wished, as there had been someone he had needed to look after. In his
darkest moments the dog would come to him and lay his head comfortingly against
his leg, as if he had understood what his master had been going through.

He had allowed himself only one day of weakness, locking out his hurt and
burying himself in work later on. He had thought he had succeeded in purging her
from his memory...until today.

Angered by the realisation that he still loved her as much as ever, he parked
his car in the car park under his building and made his way up the stairs to the
lobby.

"Good evening, Mr. Darcy," a porter greeted him. "There is a young lady waiting
for you. She had asked to let her wait for you and I agreed. I hope you don't
mind."

William frowned in confusion, but quickly summoned a reassuring smile. "That's
all right, I'll see what it is about. Good night."

<I>Who could it be?</I> thought William as he rode the lift to his floor. If it
were Georgie or Anne, the porter would have recognised them. The lift stopped
and he exited it, starting to walk down the corridor to his flat. No, it must
have been someone the porter had never seen before, someone who had never been
here. Could it... Rounding a corner he stopped in his tracks and stared in
disbelief at the figure sitting on the floor next to the door to his flat.

"Elizabeth! What are you doing here?"

Chapter 24

Scrambling up from the floor, she smiled nervously as she tried to brush her jeans as unobtrusively as possible. She looked at his face, but what she saw there wasn't encouraging. He didn't seem pleased to see her at all.

 

"Forgive me for intruding, but I needed to talk to you." He seemed to hesitate for a moment, before he answered, his face unreadable, "All right, let's go inside."

 

He opened the door, letting her in before he followed her. He turned on the light and the first thing she saw was Hurst. The dog ran up to her wagging his tail and completely ignoring his owner. It surely is poetic justice,

Elizabeth thought with amusement, remembering Jack's behaviour whenever William was around. She chanced a glance at William, but couldn't gauge his feelings.

 

She knelt down, patting Hurst gently in greeting. "Hello, boy. How lovely to see you! You didn't forget me!"

 

"Can we proceed?" William asked, she thought she could hear a note of irritation in his voice.

 

Standing up, she followed William to the living room, gazing curiously around. It was the first time she had been in his home, and she liked what she saw. The place was modern, with a lot of space, but the comfortable-looking couches, a soft carpet on the polished wooden floor, warm earth colours and soft light made it seem quite cosy and inviting. It was masculine, but not cold or austere. Just like the William she used to know.

 

He was looking at her expectantly, probably wanting her out of his sight as soon as possible. That thought hurt, but she struggled to hide her feelings. And, after all, it wasn't as if she didn't want to be away from his company as well. She straightened her back and, taking a deep breath, prepared to say her piece.

 

"I apologise again for intruding upon your privacy in such a way, but what I want to talk about won't take long."

 

He didn't respond to that, instead he just pointed her in the direction of the two couches, which stood together creating a right angle. They sat down, each on a separate couch, but facing each other.

 

"There's not an easy way to say this, so I'll be straightforward. Have you had a hand in my receiving a grant from the De Bourgh's?"

 

The blank look left his face, replaced by an expression of surprise. "How did you know?" "So you did have a hand in this! I can't believe it!" Her composure failing her, she jumped to her feet.

 

Understanding lit his features, and he stood up as well and faced her. "I admit that I interfered in the process of granting you the money. But it's not like you think."

 

"No? Enlighten me, please, what do I think and in what way were your actions different from my thoughts?" Angered, she started pacing about the room.

 

"I didn't influence my aunt in the matter of your grant. All I did was report what I knew of Collins' blackmail and ask the board for an unbiased consideration of your application. Collins was fired by the decision of my aunt and your application was accepted by the board," he explained calmly.

 

Astonished, Elizabeth stopped her pacing and looked at him questioningly. "So you didn't..." "No, I didn't tell them to give you the grant. You earned it yourself."

 

Surprise, relief and happiness flooded her at the thought that she deserved the grant, that William hadn't been pulling strings in this matter. She covered her face with her hands, overcome by her feelings. Finally, she managed to calm down and smiled at him brightly.

 

 "Thank you. I don't know what to...thank you."

 

 He didn't return her smile, giving her a serious look instead. "You're welcome."

 

She hesitated for a moment. She should leave, but there was another matter which needed to be resolved. "I don't understand one thing, though. Why did you do it? Why did you help me?"

 

His handsome features changed their expression from serious to surprised. "Don't you know?" "Would I ask if I knew?"

 

His dark eyes seemed to burn through her, as he answered her in a quiet, but intense voice. "I'd think that was obvious, but if you want me to say it out loud, so be it. I did it because I love you."

 

Shocked, she took one step back and stared at him in disbelief. "What?"

 

"You heard me. I loved you then and I couldn't bear to see you unhappy. I still love you, but don't worry, I know you want nothing to do with me. Be assured I won't bother you with declarations of my feelings anymore."

 

She couldn't miss the tone of deep bitterness in his voice. It wasn't a game he was playing, he sounded quite sincere. But how could this be true?

 

"How can you say such things? How can you tell me that you love me as if nothing happened? What about your fianc??My fianc??e choked out. She raised her chin defiantly. "Yes, Anne De Bourgh, your fiancһ I know you and her are engaged."

 

His eyes boring through hers, he made one step in her direction. "Who told you about that?" She took a step back from him. "It doesn't matter."

 

He continued walking in her direction and she continued her retreat, until she could feel a wall behind her back. Elizabeth, it's very important. Who told you Anne and I were engaged?"

 

Maybe it was the feeling of being cornered by him with no place to escape, or maybe his intense eyes and pleading voice, whatever the reason, she felt her resolve slipping.

 

"George Wickham."

 

His face, just inches away from her, paled suddenly and she saw him clench his teeth. With a feral growl, he turned away from her.

 

"That bastard!"

 

Stock still, Elizabeth watched as he struggled to control his fury. With clenched fists, he paced about the room, snarling in anger. Talking to him right now seemed unwise, so she waited.

 

At length, he seemed to calm down a bit and turned to her again, addressing her in a deceptively calm voice, "What else did he tell you?"

 

When she seemed reluctant to answer, he approached her, taking her hand in his with an earnest expression on his face. "Elizabeth, this is very important. You have to tell me. Don't I have a right to know what sort of tales he's been telling about me?"

 

Yes, he did have the right and Elizabeth granted it to him. Sitting down again, with William taking a place next to her, she told him the story she had heard from Wickham; of how he had accused William of being a dissolute womaniser, who seduced women despite the fact that he was engaged. She had also repeated George's story of how William had had him fired and ruined his career when George had wanted to reveal the truth about him.

 

When she finished, William was quiet for a few moments. She could see anger in his face, but whether he was angry at her or at Wickham, she wasn't sure.

 

"That bastard! I should have known he'd try his tricks with you! It's so like him!"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

He turned to her, taking her hands in his and gazing at her earnestly. "None of this is true, Elizabeth. I'm not a womaniser, I didn't ruin Wickham's career, and I'm most certainly not engaged to Anne."

 

Relief flooded her at his assurances, but it didn't manage to dispel all of her doubts. She wanted so badly to believe him, but there were so many things she didn't understand.

 

"But why would he invent all these lies about you?"

 

"Why are you inclined to believe him and not me?" he answered her with a question and she thought she heard hurt in his voice.

 

She sighed and looked away. "I simply don't know what to believe anymore. So far it's only been your word against his. I need more evidence."

 

"All right then. If you need evidence, I'll give it to you."

 

He grew thoughtful for a moment, then continued, "You probably know that I've known Wickham all my life. Our fathers were good friends and we played together when we were children. My father liked George very much, he even paid for his college, did you know that?"

 

Elizabeth nodded. So far both men's stories were consistent.

 

"However, as we grew up, I started noticing that his attitude towards women wasn't one I could approve of. He's a good-looking and charming man, and many girls were interested in going out with him. And he was equally eager to go out with them, all of them. He changed girlfriends like other people change underwear, usually being involved with more than one at a time. And when he got bored with them, he dumped them without ceremony. He had no decency, no remorse for the girls he had hurt."

 

"So..." Elizabeth ventured. "What he told me about you, was in fact a description of his own behaviour?"

 

"Oh yes, but that's not all. Do you know why he lost the job at the hospital and his medical license? I didn't have a hand in this matter, he brought it upon himself."

 

"How?" "By sexually harassing his patients."

 

Elizabeth gasped. "Oh my God!"

 

"Yes, exactly. I was hoping never to hear of him once he was fired, but unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be."

 

He bowed his head and she could see pain in his face. Driven by her instinct, she reached out and stroked his hair comfortingly. He raised his head and the expression she saw in his eyes stole her breath away.

 

"You remember my mentioning my sister, Georgiana? She's much younger than me and I confess, I've always tried my hardest to protect and shelter her. Probably too much. She was always shy and very innocent, even naﶥ, and my coddling didn't help her become a confident, mature young woman. She is different now, but she had to pay a high price for that transformation."

 

Elizabeth could see he was about to divulge something very painful to her. Softly, she encouraged him, "What happened?"

 

William took a deep breath. "Last year she went to college and moved out to her own flat. She was very happy and excited, she made new friends and found a boyfriend. She didn't introduce him to me, she just said he was a fellow student. I tried not to interfere; she was so happy and I was pleased to see her gaining confidence. How wrong I was!"

 

Elizabeth was silent, but she took his hand in hers wanting to reassure and comfort her. He squeezed it gratefully and continued, "Then last April a disaster struck. Georgiana came to me in a dreadful state. She was crying and terrified. She was pregnant, her boyfriend, the father of the child had left, denying the child was his."

 

Shocked, Elizabeth was only able to stammer out, "Was...was the father..."

 

"Yes, it was Wickham. It turned out he had been the mysterious boyfriend of Georgiana's. Well, to cut the long story short, it was a very difficult spring. I had to help Georgiana recover from the shock and help her prepare for the great change in her life. She was barely nineteen then and quite innocent, the pregnancy frightened her. Abortion was considered for a short time, but in the end Georgiana rejected that idea. She decided she'd have the baby. However, there was never a question of Wickham having any role in Georgiana or the child's life. All I wanted was for him to stay away from my sister.

 

Well, as time passed, Georgiana grew more and more happy about the baby. She began to consider it as a blessing in disguise and started looking forward to being a mother. But sadly, it wasn't meant to be. She lost the baby and suffered another break-down after the miscarriage."

 

Elizabeth brushed the tears that had slipped from her eyes during William's sad tale. "Oh, how terrible! Poor girl! What she must have gone through! And you, too."

 

He clenched his jaw and looked away. "Don't say anything about it. I deserved it all, after all, it was my own fault. It was I who sheltered Georgiana so much that she didn't know how to protect herself from worthless men like Wickham.

And, on top of that, I didn't look after her properly. I knew she was seeing someone, but I was too busy, too blind to notice that something bad was happening."

 

Hearing the self-recrimination and anger in his voice, she took his face in her hands and made him look at her. "You shouldn't blame yourself so much. You did what you thought was best. You trusted your sister and believed she knew what she was doing. She lied to you about Wickham. What could you have done?"

 

He shook his head, unconvinced.

 

"You are a wonderful brother. You helped Georgiana through very difficult times, you did your best to help and protect her. No one could have done more."

 

"All I know is that my little sister went through hell because I had been too blind to see what was happening to her. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that," he confessed softly.

 

"Oh, Will." Her heart ached for his sorrow. Instinctively, she moved to put her hands around his neck and pull him close to her. He clung to her gratefully, letting her soothe him.

 

"Don't go," he entreated.

 

"Are you sure you want me to stay? After all I've done, after all the pain I've caused you, you still want me around?"

 

He moved away, so that he could gaze at her face, his eyes earnest. "I'll be damned if I let Wickham come between us. I love you and I'm not letting you go again."

 

With these words, his lips covered hers in a kiss full of desire and longing. She responded instinctively, by returning and deepening the kiss and winding her hands in his hair, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And it was.

 

His lips left hers, moving across her cheek to her ear. His warm breath burnt her skin, as he whispered, "I mean it, Elizabeth. I won't let you leave me again. Come with me to bed."

 

Sensing his need for comfort and reassurance, which wasn't much different from the longing filling her heart, she could think of nothing else she could want. Filled with need for him, magnified by their long separation and misunderstandings, she could only nod. "Yes."

 

She heard his sudden intake of breath, as he jumped to his feet and scooped her up in his arms. Giddy from his nearness and her unexpected happiness, she giggled, "Doesn't it remind you of something?"

 

A slow grin alighted on his face. "Good old times"

 

He carried her to his bedroom and deposited her on a large, soft bed. He didn't join her immediately, he just sat on the edge of the bed, gazing at her curiously.

 

She raised her eyebrows with interest. "What?"

 

He shook his head, as if in wonder. "I can't believe you're really here."

 

Reaching out, she embraced his neck and drew him to her. His body covered hers, as they once again locked in a passionate embrace. Lips wandering, hands searching, sliding under clothes, impatient, eager to feel the warmth and softness of the skin and the hardness of muscles, to reacquaint themselves with all the delights so greatly missed during the past months.

 

They undressed each other none too smoothly, the process frequently interrupted by kisses and caresses, but also fits of giggles, which neither could contain, which seemed to be bubbling up from their very cores, overflowing with joy and relief, but also awkwardness of long-separated lovers.

 

At long last the disrobing was complete. Trembling with need, Elizabeth revelled in the feel of his naked skin next to hers. She had missed him so much that she couldn't get enough of the feel, the smell, the taste, everything that was him. Her anticipation and impatience was growing by the minute, when suddenly he stilled and cursed loudly.

 

Surprised at such an outburst, she looked at him questioningly.

 

"I don't have any protection. I haven't needed any after you...after we..."

 

He looked so miserable that she could not help but smile with sympathy, her heart soaring at the realisation that he hadn't been with anyone else when they had been apart. Stroking the side of his face comfortingly, she reassured him,

"That's all right, I'm on the pill."

 

He raised his head and eyed her enquiringly, as if wishing to check whether she really meant what he thought she meant. "Are you sure?"

 

She nodded. "For my part, yes. You've showed me today that I can trust you. I've experienced what it's like to be without you and I don't want to go through it again. I want this to last, really last this time. I've never been with anyone without a condom, but I'm ready to make this step now, with you. But if you'd rather ..."

 

"No, no! If you want it, then there's nothing I desire more. Thank you for trusting me. I promise you'll never have a cause to regret it."

 

He kissed her deeply, all thoughts and conversations soon forgotten. They came together with exquisite slowness, savouring the feelings, which were familiar, but new at the same time, their extraordinarily intensified awareness of each other, and their newfound intimacy. Together they travelled through the lands of pain and pleasure, both physical and emotional, revisiting old places and finding new areas of delight. Breaths panting, chests heaving, they increased their speed, until they were running, spinning, dancing till they could take no more and they collapsed as one; a tangle of arms and legs, amidst blissful cries and almost pained groans. 

 

Wordlessly, he gathered her to himself, cradling her close, stroking her damp hair. "God, how I've missed you," he said, as his arms tightened around her.

 

Raising herself slightly, she gazed at him tenderly. "I love you."

 

A sudden grin split his face at her unexpected admission. Reaching out for her, he brought her head down to his for a fervent kiss. Finally, out of breath, he held her close again, her head resting on his chest, where she could hear the soothing sound of his heartbeat. As she was drifting off to sleep, Elizabeth could feel a sensation of deep contentment settling in her heart. All was well again.

 

Chapter twenty five

 

 

Elizabeth awoke to the feeling of a warm breath tickling her ear. William, she thought dreamily, snuggling closer into the warmth of the strong arms encircling her from behind and sighing contentedly. What a lovely way to wake up. 

 

But William, it seemed, wasn't idle for long. Soon the warm breath was joined by the sensation of a warm tongue licking a path up the side of her face. 

 

"Hmmm? William?"

 

"Yes, Lizzy?" she heard a soft whisper near her ear. Wait a minute?a whisper? How could he whisper and lick her face at the same time? Confused and a little startled, she opened her eyes to stare into a pair of brown eyes surrounded by a mane of unruly hair, and a very toothy grin with a pink tongue hanging from the side of a hairy jaw. 

 

"Hurst!"

 

"What?" William sat up straight at her yell, while Elizabeth pulled the covers up to her chin. The perpetrator was staring at them with an unrepentant look on his face. 

 

"Hurst! Get out of the bed! Shoo!" 

 

Reluctantly, the dog turned around and jumped off the bed, but not before he made sure the humans knew just how miserable and ill-used he was. 

 

Elizabeth fell back on the bed, her hand on her forehead. "God, he scared the heck out of me."

 

"Sorry," William muttered, lying down next to her.

 

Elizabeth chuckled softly. "It's ok. I'm not angry, though I confess I didn't expect such a tender greeting. Do you always let him sleep with you in the bed?"

 

William had the grace to look sheepish. "Yes."

 

Elizabeth laughed softly, as she leaned over William and kissed him. "You're so sweet."

 

He frowned. "Sweet? I'll show you I'm anything but sweet!" In one, swift movement he rolled them over and kissed her thoroughly. The normally steady bed started spinning and Elizabeth was left with no choice but to wrap her arms around William's neck and hold on for dear life. Breathing hard, he finally pulled away and his passion-filled eyes looked searchingly into hers. 

 

"So? Do you still think I'm sweet?"

 

She laughed shakily. "Hardly." Raising her hand to his face, she rubbed his cheek. "With that stubble you look more like a wild animal. It's no wonder I took Hurst for you."

 

He gave her a mock scowl, before smiling deviously and lowering his head to very deliberately nuzzle the crook of her neck. 

 

"Ouch, you're scratchy!"

 

"Does it bother you?" he murmured against her skin, teasing her with kisses, while his hand moved lower to caress her breasts.

 

"Oh," she sighed with pleasure. "Not at all."

 

They showered together, washing each other diligently, so diligently that their exit from the shower was significantly delayed. Elizabeth had to borrow William's spare toothbrush, realising with no small wonder the enormous change she had undergone since the previous evening. Driving to William's flat, determined to confront him about the grant, she would never have thought she'd

stay the night. And what a night it had been!

 

As William was shaving, Elizabeth set out to explore the rest of the flat. The only things she had seen the night before was the living and dining area. And the bedroom, she remembered, smiling ruefully. However, she had to admit that although she had spent many long hours in William's bedroom, she didn't remember much of the d?ˮ Curious, she peeked inside and surveyed the room. It had the same colouring as the rest of the flat; beige walls and carpet, dark wooden furniture, a massive wooden bed with brown and beige bedspread and pillows, which currently lay scattered on the floor. She made the bed, unable to leave the room in such a messy state, and proceeded on her tour.

 

The two guest bedrooms had much lighter and more pastel colours, they were decidedly more feminine. Elizabeth wondered who lived there. Probably his sister. And his cousin, she thought grimly. Stop it! You're being ridiculous!

 

She went to the kitchen; a very modern affair, with lots of dark wood and steel, masculine, but not very homey. This kitchen looked?immaculate. Like a picture in a furniture catalogue. It wasn't a place where you could sit half the night over a cup of tea or where a family gathered to prepare meals together. In fact, she doubted he used it much at all. She recalled him telling her once that he hardly ever ate at home. Well, that would have to change, at least while she was there.

 

Not wanting to seem to be throwing her weight around in his home, she restricted herself to putting the coffee maker on. When the coffee was brewing, she stepped out to the balcony, the last place to explore in the flat, and was promptly made breathless by the beautiful sight greeting her. 

 

The sun was already quite high in the sky, and it sparkled in the greyish-blue waters of the Thames. Elizabeth had been by the rivers plenty of times, but never had she lived so near one. Looking at it sparkling in the morning sun, inhaling the sweet scent of the water, feeling the freshness of the breeze on her face and hearing the cries of gulls circling high and low over the water's surface, she was enchanted. Below her, the city was slowly awakening to a lazy Sunday; joggers taking their morning exercise, people walking their dogs or simply enjoying the nice weather. Used to the quiet of her house in the country, Elizabeth was strangely excited and energised by the view and the sounds of the city. It was beautiful. Of course, it was a different kind of beauty than her beloved forests and meadows, but it was beauty nonetheless. 

 

A pair of warm, strong arms sneaked around her, pulling her close. Sighing, she leaned back against his chest in great contentment. 

 

"It's so beautiful."

 

William dropped a soft kiss against her neck. "Yes. I've wanted to share this with you for a very long time."

 

She turned around in his arms and faced him. "You did?"

 

He nodded. "Oh yes. I've fantasized about having you here, showing to you all of the places close to me and seeing your reaction to them. But after we?after what happened I lost all hope of ever having you here."

 

His tone was gentle, but the sadness in his eyes tugged at her heart and her conscience. How awfully I've misjudged him! Unable to face him any longer, she looked away, biting her lip.

 

"Elizabeth? I know we talked about it yesterday, but there are still a lot of things I don't understand. What made you believe Wickham's story and break up with me?" 

 

She heaved a sigh, still staring stubbornly on the tiled floor of the balcony. She knew exactly what caused her distrust in William. But would she have the guts to tell that story?

 

"Lizzy?" he prompted her tenderly. 

 

It wouldn't do. She had caused him so much pain by her distrust and stubbornness. She owed him an explanation. Summoning her courage, she raised her eyes to him. "I will tell you, but it's a long story."

 

He smiled. "I'm not going anywhere. And neither are you, I hope"

 

She smiled back. "No, I'll just have to call Charlotte and tell her I'm staying here. And if I am to spend the next couple of hours divulging a rather unpleasant story, I'll need some sustenance."

 

He chuckled softly, and then let her go, taking her hand instead. "Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes, my lady."

 

As William was making breakfast, Elizabeth called Charlotte. She prepared herself for a severe scolding for not returning for the night. Her friend, however, wasn't angry at all. Nor in the least surprised.

 

"I found the note you left. Went to William's, need to talk to him and explain some things. When you didn't return, I figured you explained everything to each other and you stayed for the night."

 

"Thanks for your understanding, Char."

 

"You're welcome. So, I gather you've made up. Are you back together?"

 

Elizabeth raised her head and caught William's eyes over the breakfast table. The warmth in his gaze sent her heart racing. Unable to stop a grin from splitting her face, she answered, "Yes."

 

"I'm very happy for you. So, I take it you're staying there?"

 

"If you don't mind. I know we planned to spend the weekend together, but?"

 

"But you want to spend some time with your newly regained love. It's all right, I understand. We had Friday and Saturday to ourselves, I'm not so selfish as to want to keep you all to myself. Though I'm sure William isn't as generous," she quipped.

 

Elizabeth chuckled. "Thanks, Char. You're the best."

 

"Yeah, yeah."

 

"I'll drop by on my way back home to get my stuff."

 

"OK, have fun!"

 

"Thanks, Char. Bye."

 

She hung up and met William's inquisitive gaze. "So?"

 

She smiled, finding his hand and twining her fingers with his. Since their reunion she couldn't seem to be able to keep herself from looking for excuses to touch him. "I have her leave to stay here."

 

"Good. Now eat, before all of this grows cold." He picked up a piece of toast with jam and fed her with it, his fingers lingering on her lips long after she swallowed the offering. He also seemed unable to keep himself from touching her. What a lucky coincidence, she thought as his lips found hers for yet another kiss.

 

After breakfast they took Hurst for a walk by the river. Hand in hand they strolled in the cold, wintry morning, enjoying the views, the sunny weather and each other's company. The simple act of walking together had a calming effect on Elizabeth. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so happy and peaceful. So when William reminded her of the explanation she had promised him, she thought it was as good time as any to tell her story. 

 

Taking a deep breath, she started, "Wickham came to Meryton on the first Friday after you left. Without my knowledge Lydia invited him to Charlotte's party and when he came and saw you weren't there, he started chatting me up."

 

An ugly scowl appeared on William's face and Elizabeth hastened with a clarification, "I tried to get rid of him and then he started warning me against you. I didn't believe him, so he produced all kinds of stories which were supposed to prove your guilt. The last straw was his announcing that you were engaged to Anne."

 

"That bastard! He knew very well I'm not engaged to her."

 

Elizabeth glanced at him. "But where did he get such a crazy idea from? To say you're engaged to your own cousin! Most people wouldn't believe it. I didn't believe it at first either."

 

William laughed bitterly. "Oh, he's more intelligent than you think. Though the story isn't true, he didn't invent it."

 

Surprised, Elizabeth stopped walking and turned to William. "I don't understand. He didn't invent it?"

 

He rolled his eyes, frustration clearly written on his face. "My aunt Catherine, Anne's mother, wants me to marry Anne and she's not a woman who can easily take 'no' for an answer. So, Anne and I have decided to ignore her none too subtle allusions, but don't contradict her."

 

"So," Elizabeth began slowly. "You allow her to believe that one day you and Anne will marry?"

 

"Well?yes, I guess you could say that."

 

"But why don't you just tell her it's not going to happen?"

 

William thought for a moment before responding. "Honestly? If it were just about me, I'd have willingly braved her wrath. But it's also about Anne. She asked me not to start a war with my aunt now and I don't want to subject her to her mother's rage."

 

Elizabeth gave him a sidelong glance and started walking again. "You're very protective of her. Lucky girl."

 

"Yes, I care about her very much. She's like a sister to me." 

"And you? Do you know what you are to her?"

"She feels the same about me."

 

She threw a doubtful glance at him. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, of course I'm sure. Elizabeth, what is all this questioning about?"

 

She shrugged, but didn't meet his eyes. "I just have doubts about her treating you only as a brother, that's all."

 

"You mean you think Anne's in love with me?"

"Well, yes. I think it's possible."

 

William burst out laughing, making her stop and look at him sharply and with some vexation. He was a man who disapproved of public displays of emotion, and here he was standing in the middle of the street laughing uncontrollably. What was wrong with him?

 

She levelled an indignant glare at him. "What's so funny?"

 

He stopped laughing, but was still grinning very foolishly. "You are."

 

"Me?"

 

"Yes, you," he repeated making a step in her direction and putting his hands on her waist. "You're jealous of Anne."

 

"Jealous, me? William Darcy, your ego must be the size of a small country."

 

"Yes, you are. Don't try to deny it, because it won't work. You're quite transparent, sweetheart."

 

She snorted, crossing her arms on her chest. "Even if I were jealous, which I'm not, I'd have a very good reason to be."

 

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

 

"Oh yes! Have you already forgotten your sneaking around, calling Anne when you were at my place? You called her pet names, you used endearments, I heard it all. Now you're telling me you aren't going to tell her mother you won't marry her, because Anne doesn't want you to. Isn't it clear enough she wants to marry you?"

 

With an amused look on his face, William took her face in his hands. "Lizzy, I know for a fact that the last thing Anne wants is to marry me. I can't tell you why, because I promised her secrecy, but believe me, she's never even thought of me in that way and I certainly haven't thought of her. She's just my cousin, nothing more. You are the one I love and want to be with. She's no threat to you."

 

She looked at him and saw sincerity in his expression. He was telling the truth, she could see it plainly. Or at least what he believed to be true. Reluctantly, she could feel herself soften. 

 

"Why do you have to be so damn intuitive?" She pouted. 

 

He chuckled softly. "I'm not intuitive at all. It's you. You're like an open book sometimes."

 

She groaned and rested her forehead against his chest. "You must think I'm crazy."

 

His arms pulled her closer into his embrace, as he whispered in her ear, "Darling, if we weren't in a public place, I'd show you exactly what I think about you."

 

"Then we'd better walk back." She smirked, taking his hand and pulling him with her back in the direction of his building. The eager expression on his face made her giggle.

 

They walked in silence for a few moments, before William spoke, "So, are we done on the subject of Anne?"

 

"I'm afraid not yet," she said apologetically. "You see, Anne was the reason I broke up with you. Not just because of what Wickham said. I admit that his story made me uneasy and a little suspicious, but I was determined not to believe him until I had talked to you about it."

 

"A very wise plan. Why didn't you call me then?"

 

"I did, but you weren't at home. However, Anne was. It was eleven o'clock in the evening and she was there. She picked up the phone and introduced herself as if she was in her own home. She said you were 'unavailable'. I assumed she was staying at your flat, with you. What else was I supposed to think?"

 

For a while, William didn't respond, he just walked on, thoughtful. Finally, he shook his head in disbelief. "My God, what a mess! I can see how you could have thought this to be damning evidence. Especially that Anne really was staying at my flat that night. I asked her to look after Hurst when I was at the hospital."

 

"So that's all that happened? She doesn't stay with you regularly?"

 

He threw her an exasperated glance. "I thought we've already discussed it."

 

Embarrassed, she lowered her head. "You're right, I'm sorry."

 

They returned to William's building and he opened the door for Elizabeth and followed her in, without saying anything. He was quiet until they finally made it to his flat.

 

"I don't understand, Elizabeth," he said as he helped her out of her coat. "We spend an amazing couple of weeks together. We understand each other, we can talk for hours, we can laugh together and we have fantastic sex together. However, it seems none of this matters, because you don't trust me. As soon as I'm out of town, you start thinking I'm cheating on you and then you break up with me without even asking for my version of even